Mr. Scott Goes to Washington - Act Three, Scene Nine: An Ambassador and a Gentleman

Again, I've been slacking off. And now that I'm almost out of time, I'm stuck in a race against time to have my blog catch up with my real life. To that end, this entry will cover the period from Monday, Dec. 5 to Saturday Dec. 10 - once again, in startling detail.

If I can remember what happened.

On Monday (Dec. 5) we didn't have any morning events, so Claire and I went gift-shopping before our afternoon lecture. The speaker was a very important guy whose name I can't remember. But he worked for Reagan, and gave a pretty interesting speech. Not *too* interesting, though, 'cause then I'd probably remember who he was.

On Tuesday morning I finished my report on the US Chamber of Commerce lunch speaker I had attended the previous Thursday. That afternoon, we had an intern briefing with the Ambassador, Frank McKenna, which was absolutely amazing. He is a really interesting guy, with a lot to say about Canada, the US, and pretty much any topic put to him. I asked him about the rumours that he might run to replace Paul Martin as Liberal Party leader (and, therefore, Prime Minister of Canada), which he dodged quite astutely. He said that no decisions had been made, that it would be a very difficult job, and that the media attention would be very hard on his family. He also noted that Canadians are notoriously tough on their leaders - he pointed out, quite correctly, that less than two years ago everybody was cheering for Paul Martin to replace Chretien, and now they're tearing Martin to pieces.

Immediately after that, though, he basically laid out an agenda for how he would run the country, which was really interesting to hear. He pretty much said everything I wanted to hear - to the point that a couple of my friends kept looking at me going "Eh?" At any rate, I was on cloud nine afterward; I was so excited about what he'd said that I actually considered voting Liberal to get him elected! We also got a group photo taken, although the lady taking it screwed it up and the lighting is funny See below (Frankie's standing right in front of me) :

On Wednesday I attended a hearing on Peak Oil theory held by the House Energy and Commerce Committee. I was accompanied by the Energy Counsellor, who said he “wanted to watch one of the witnesses.” As it turned out, I was in for my first bit of diplomatic intrigue.

One of the scheduled witnesses was actually the representative of the Province of Alberta at the embassy. The government has a policy against embassy officers testifying before Congress (it has something to do with sovereignty issues; they are allowed to interact and meet with Congress, but never to testify). Apparently this representative was told that he was not allowed to testify, and that if he did there would be ‘repercussions.’ So the Energy Counsellor came with me to intimidate him. As soon as he saw our Energy Counsellor was there to watch him, he informed the Chairman that he had an urgent teleconference, and left without testifying. I found it all rather exciting – when I found out what had happened, totally after the fact.

When I got back the embassy I started my report on that hearing.

On Thursday (Dec 8.) , I finished my report on Wednesday’s peak oil hearing, and started my report on the Brookings Tax Policy conference I’d attended the previous Friday. We also had an embassy staff briefing with the Ambassador in the auditorium in the basement. He gave us, basically, a holiday pep talk, saying how proud he was of the work that the staff was doing, and how grateful he was that the personnel at the embassy had helped him feel so welcome in the six months or so since he became Ambassador. The highlight for me was when Frankie tap danced on stage. That night I spent like most of my nights that week - trying to get myself to work on the large number of essays I had to finish for my portfolio. I think by Friday I had finished 2 out of 5.

On Friday (Dec. 9) , I finished my report on the Tax Policy Conference. After work my friend Kristina Athanadanalapolopodopoulos was supposed to throw me a birthday party, which she called to cancel. Then she called back and cancelled the cancellation. So we were on! It was a really fun night, one dedicated to the spirit of strengthening bilateral relations, as outlined in my keynote address. I won't go into sordid details, but my roommates from New England (with whom I recently bonded) got thrown out by Kristina's whacky roommate, and Kristina ended up wrapped in aluminum foil. Also, we played a lot of 80s music. It was great.

On Saturday (Dec. 10) I spent more or less the whole day working on my essays, I think. Which means I probably procrastinated until 8pm before actually working.

I'm going to stop here because I need to go finish packing. But before I do, I want to say hello to Claire's cousins Hailey and Hannah who, I'm told, read the blog regularly. Today at the embassy Claire showed me a wonderfully festive powerpoint presentation that Hailey had whipped up, with moving pictures and everything. Definitely put me in the Christmas mood!

Mr. Scott goes to Washington - Act Three, Scene Eight: The Heart of Darkness

I know I let my posting slide again, but I've been quite busy. As we're coming into my last week in Washington, I've been trying to get all of the essays and papers written that I have to submit as part of my 'internship portfolio.' Had I done them during the term, rather than leaving them all to the last minute, it wouldn't be an issue. But, sadly, that was not the case. This entry will cover the period from Wednesday, Nov. 30 to Sunday, Dec. 4.

Wednesday (Nov. 30) wasn't a particularly exciting day, as a couple of my bosses were out of the office, and Congress was still on recess. So I spent the day working on one of the essays that I mentioned earlier. That night after work I went out for pad thai with a bunch of people.

On Thursday (Dec. 1) morning, a group of the embassy’s interns went on a tour of the US Capitol. One of the interns in the political section knows someone who works in Senator Debbie Stabenow’s office, and arranged the tour for us. It was quite informative, and best of all we got to ride from the Senate office buildings to the capital in the Senators’ private subway. I was somewhat disappointed, though, that it was more like a miniature train and less like the space-age tracked pod-cars I had envisioned.

That afternoon I attended a lunch at the United States Chamber of Commerce as part of their ongoing series on strengthening capital markets. The luncheon speaker was the Chairman and CEO of Ernst & Young. I felt a little out of place because, unlike other events I attend, I was the only diplomatic representative in the room – everybody else was from the Chamber or from a major accounting company. While his speech wasn’t overly interesting, I had a really great discussion with a guy who works for the Chamber about a number of Canada-US issues, so it was a really enjoyable time. Also, the food was really, really good (Uncle David, you'd be proud of me - it was salmon, albeit smothered in a delicious cream sauce so you couldn't taste the fish).

Then, after work I went out for... more pad thai at a different restaurant with a different bunch of people.

On Friday (Dec. 2) I attended a Conference at the Brookings Institution entitled “Tax Reform in an Open Economy,” focusing on the international ramifications of the tax reform plans put forward by the President’s Advisory Panel on Federal Tax Reform. It was sort of the culmination of the tax reform work I’ve been doing for the Finance Counsellor all term - he referred to it as my graduate seminar. I returned to the embassy around 3, and had a lengthy discussion about what was said with the Finance Counsellor. Going to another of these conferences only served to reinforce my belief that I need to get a Ph.D. in economics to reach my full intellectual pretentiousness potential.

At any rate, I was quite proud of myself because I was actually able to somewhat follow what was going on: when the Chief Economist from the President's Panel was talking about a part of their new consumption tax proposal, I was sitting there thinking to myself "Why, that amounts to an import tariff and an export subsidy. That would lead to import substition!" Then, during the question period, one of the Harvard economists in the front row asked her "Aren't you basically talking about a tariff on imports and a subsidy for exports? That would be disasterous for international trade relationships..."

I had to restrain myself from jumping out of my seat, yelling "Boo-yeah," and doing my geeky, white-boy, economic version of a touchdown dance .

Friday night... I can't remember what happened. I think that I did... something. But, for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. I really need to either write these things closer to the time that stuff actually happens, or take notes on what I'm doing...

Well, whatever I did, I slept in bloody late on Saturday. It was wonderful.

Saturday evening I went for a romantic moon-lit (well, moon- and streetlamp-lit) skate at the National Gallery with Kristina, Jake, Claire, and Brendon. After that, we went for a romantic chilidog at Ben's Chili Bowl, the famous Washington institution. It was amazing; I had the Bill Cosby special: a chili half-smoke with onions and mustard. I can't believe I didn't think to take my brother up there when he was down here! Oh well, there'll be plenty of time for chilidogs when I live here permanently...

On Sunday (Dec . 4) morning (I use the term 'morning' loosely... I think it was around 1pm) , Jonathan and I ventured brazenly into the heart of darkness - Southeastern DC - in search of the fabled Eastern Market...

Hidden in a neighbourhood that cannot be found except for those who know where it is. Find it, we did. There be the market, inside be the vendors, we looked at them all... hoping maybe, just maybe, to find some Christmas presents for pleasurable company...

I'm sorry. I don't know how I got from "Heart of Darkness" to "Pirates of the Caribbean."

After that, I returned home to do some more work on my much-hated portfolio papers. Speaking of, I should be working on the last of those right now! So, having successfully procrastinated via blogging for a little while, I'll leave you here for this afternoon.

Mr. Scott goes to Washington - Act Three, Scene Seven: It's a Turkeyful Life, or, Why You Never Bet on a French Bird

Picking up hot on the heels of my last posting, this blog entry will cover the period from Thursday Nov. 24 to Tuesday Nov. 29, encompassing my first American Thanksgiving.

I'll begin with a brief history lesson. The Pilgrims were brilliant people. Brilliant and lazy people. Brilliant, lazy people who decided to hold their Thanksgiving on a Thursday, so that they could enjoy a de facto four-day holiday weekend. In reality, I think it might have been Abe Lincoln who put it on a Thursday, in which case he, too, was a brilliant and lazy man. But really, the history of how it happened isn't important. What's important is that I ended up with two extra days off which I spent, appropriately enough, in a brilliantly lazy fashion.

So, with most of my friends either home or away for the weekend, Thursday night I was invited to an intern Thanksgiving potluck that Claire and her roommates were holding. Marie, Claire's lovable roommate, suggested I bring "some buns, if I want," a suggestion at which I scoffed rather forcefully. Instead, after having my mother send me a recipe for pumpkin pie (which I hope was Grandma's recipe that I had asked for - I'd been craving Grandma's pumpkin pie since Canadian Thanksgiving...) I spent Thursday afternoon baking more pies than anybody could ever need.

You see, as a student of economics, I figured that by spreading out the 'fixed' costs of production - the various spices, etc. which I would have to buy no matter how many pies I baked - over more pies, I would be lowering the per-unit cost of each pie...

... sigh, it's no wonder I'm alone, heh heh.

Anyways, the dinner itself was quite enjoyable - everybody had made something delicious and exciting; luckily Claire had realized that the people cooking the main course were vegetarian and had rushed to the store to purchase some turkey. Of course, that's not to say that the stuffed eggplant wasn't a suitable main course...

On Friday (Nov. 25) I spent most of the day reading my gigantic new book and eating a ridiculous amount of left-over pumpkin pie. That night my friend Kristina and I went to the movies in an ultimately fruitless effort to see Harry Potter - even a week after it had opened in theatres it was still sold out! So, we saw RENT instead, which was quite good. However, I still haven't seen Harry Potter, since none of my friends down here have any interest in seeing it (I found out after the fact that even Kristina has never read any of the books or seen any of the movies and was just going along to humour me!) . It's a most regrettable situation.

I spent Saturday, again, reading, eating pie, and working on one of the essays I have to submit as part of my internship. I know I left the apartment to do something, but for the life of me I can't think of what it was.

Sunday was a more active day - Claire and I went skating at the ice rink they've set up in the National Gallery's sculpture gallery, which, while enjoyable, was hell on my feet. After that, we grabbed a late lunch/early dinner before heading over to the Embassy to meet Brendon and Jake to watch the Grey Cup (that's right, Uncle David, I caught it!). The embassy throws parties for most major Canadian sporting events, and extends invitations to all the Canadian expats in DC who have registered with their "Connect2Canada" network. They projected the game onto a big screen in the Cafeteria, and served pizza, wings, and wildly overpriced bad Canadian beer ($3 for a can of Labbatt's Blue? Ridiculous! Didn't stop us!) . It was, as those who saw it know, a really good game.

Sadly, my Alouettes lost, but I don't know what else I should have expected from the French... I was able to take some solace in the fact that the Québecois sovereigntist who was there took the loss much, much harder than I did. It took all my strength not to kick him when, asked if he was Canadian, he responded "Non, I'm Québecois." I don't even know why they let him into the embassy...

On Monday (Nov. 28), we went to the Woodrow Wilson Center for Scholars (housed in the Ronald Reagan Building, interesting choice, thought I) for a discussion with the Directors of the Center's Canada and Mexico projects. It was actually pretty interesting, and I gained a new appreciation for Mexico. That appreciation would subsequently be diminished on Wednesday... but I'll discuss that when the time comes.

Tuesday (Nov. 29) was a pretty slow day at work... with Congress still on recess not much was going on, so I finished off one of my essays. That night we went to a dinner party at the Head of our section's house, which was a lot of fun. She had an absolutely gorgeous house in a great part of town: on the way up there we drove through Embassy Row and past the Vice President's house, the British Embassy, and the National Cathedral. I've decided that I need to make it back up there some time during the day before I leave to look around... but I hardly have any time left!

And on that note, I'm done for the day.